An Open Letter To Our Girls, Krysta & Kira

Hey Baby Girls,

I know it seems kinda silly for me to be writing to you as a means of communication to our K2 Fam, but after yesterday's Soft Opening I just wanted to hug you & congratulate you, & I also wanted to address things my perfectionist side got in my head about...& I guess right now this is how I'm killing two birds with one stone.

First, thank you for being there with us yesterday. It was scary, stressful & exciting, & I think your spirits were there for every bit of it. I'm so proud of how your friends, family & community supported your coffee truck! It's obvious that people who didn't even know you personally, or maybe just didn't know you well were still touched in some way by our loss &/or your dreams. I know the coffee truck wasn't exactly what you both had in mind, but dreams are a living, breathing thing that I think can change, evolve & take many forms; I wholeheartedly believe this is a form of Krysta's dream & Kira's love of coffee that you both would be proud of. This whole process for me has been a labor of love because I can feel you in it in a way I can't with anything else. It makes me feel like you're close somehow.

Because it means so much to me & it's intrinsically tied to my deep love for you both, I wanted everything to be perfect. I wanted the truck to be perfect, I wanted the coffee to be perfect, I wanted US to be perfect. Which is crazy and completely unattainable! Lol When we first started yesterday morning, we had some machine issues, we were still setting up & brewing drip coffee when orders were coming in, we grabbed some cups out of order so people who ordered first or ordered really simple things had to wait longer than they should have. Nanna, Kaylee & I were learning how to move around each other in the truck & get our supplies out of the same 3 coolers in a space the size of a postage stamp, lol, plus did you know Nanna had a broken toe?! She was moving around that thing like a boss with her foot swelling & her toe probably throbbing, but she never complained -- not once. In fact, she apologized a lot & I got snippy with her and told her she was "doing great so stop apologizing, it's annoying." My mama would have slapped my head off my shoulders for talking to her like that, but luckily I was working with your Nanna and she's a lot more forgiving than my mama is. ;) I immediately felt bad about it and apologized to her because...well...you know.

You know I'm a pretty anxious person, but I stowed it away yesterday (for the most part), handled what was right in front of us & as a result I spent last night & this morning feeling all that anxiety at once in full force. My perfectionism started to get the best of me. I couldn't stop thinking about our mess ups. The imperfectly steamed milk, the machine issues & slow pulling of espresso shots in the beginning, one person's order got forgotten because somehow it got moved off the queue table & into the sink (??) (we did fix that though) a couple orders which were identical except for one thing got put into the wrong cup & we had to let the couple know to switch cups, lol. From the outside looking in, I could just imagine people going "this isn't hard, why am I having to wait, why is this messed up, the milk is too hot, the milk isn't creamy enough, this needs to be stirred more, this cappuccino doesn't feel light enough, there are too many strawberries, there are not enough strawberries, why isn't my galaxy lemonade more like a galaxy,...." and on and on and on. I was spiraling thinking about the imperfections...but I have to remind myself that:

A.) that was THE FIRST TIME EVER we had worked full scale in the trailer. We've practiced here and there on the machine, but not excessively & never with people ordering. We were just making stuff for ourselves and steaming water with dish soap in it for practice lol. That's a lot different than serving 2-300 people in 4 hours.

B.) There are myriad reasons why we did a soft opening & those technical, mechanical, flow, stock & preparation issues are one of the main reasons. We even took a loss by offering a $2.50 menu because we KNEW there would be kinks & that it wouldn't be perfect, so why am I freaking out about something I KNEW would happen?

C.) We actually did pretty well even with the foreseen (& unforseen) difficulties. We had a lot to learn & we all worked together and learned it; that's what a soft opening is for.

D.) You can't make 100% of the people happy 100% of the time. There will always be people who complain, or just simply don't care for what you offer. That's not our audience. We're not doing this to get rich, to convert anybody to our way of thinking, to entice or force anyone to like something like they don't like, or to try and please everybody on planet earth. We're doing it for YOU. To make your dreams come true. To defy death in a way & make sure your legacy isn't just "two teenage girls who tragically died in a car accident." That happened, it's tragic, & I wish I'd never let you out of my sight that day - but it WILL NOT be your legacy. If I & the rest of your family have anything to say about it, that won't be what people remember most when they think of or talk about you. They will talk about your life, not your death. They'll remember your smiles, laughs, sass, fierceness, boldness, confidence, hobbies, strength, & the things & people you love. That's what we're doing this for.

So, I'm going to do my best to forget about all the mishaps, and just focus on improving & making your coffee truck the best coffee truck in the county. <3 There are so many people who DONATED their time, resources, & baked goods to show their support & because of them I think the soft opening went so much smoother than it might have otherwise. If I try to list them all we'll be here all day, but I know you saw & I hope you feel the love deep down into your bones, because it's there, & it's deeper than the ocean & bigger than the sky.

I love you.

XOXO,

Mom